My Story And First Post

I wanted to share my story and first post on Lane of Roses! I pray it encourages and helps someone!



As of July 19, 2018 I have been accepted to be a Writing Ambassador for Lane of Roses. My story will be published sometime after August 13th. Then I will help write devotions, first one being in September. I am very excited about this opportunity that God has given me and I pray that what I write brings glory to Him! I have always hoped that my writing brings Him glory.  I believe God has entrusted me with this assignment and I pray to complete it with His help and guidance.

I had a car accident last May. I haven’t been permitted to talk about it for legal reasons but I want to tell about how God was with me. Before the accident I had been watching home videos with my kids when they were small. I have always been very hard on myself as a mom and what I saw in the videos made me feel better. They also made me feel like I was seeing my life for the last time. The day of the accident I had called my sister to talk about how I was feeling and I started to cry because I felt like something was going to happen to me. I told her I felt this way. I was on my way to pick up my daughter from school when it happened. I was going through an intersection and someone ran the red light and hit the side of my car causing it to flip and land upside down. When I was hit I couldn’t believe I was hit to begin with and I thought I was just going to slide a little bit. When all I could see was white and heard glass and metal for what seemed like a long time I felt in perfect peace. I could have died and been okay with it. Actually I was wondering why I didn’t die. The girl who came to my car thought I was dead. She asked me if I was alive. I said,”Yes” and I climbed out the broken window. I believe God was with me because of the immense peace I felt. Also because I’m still alive. I called my sister the next day and told her what happened. She told me when we hung up the phone the day before that she prayed for me because of what I said. She prayed for God to not let anything bad happen to me because she needed me. God answered her prayer and her prayer may have literally saved my life. Since this accident I have carried this peace with me and it has also helped me to stop striving. I realized that for awhile I had been striving to please God or striving to be in His presence. Over these past few months something has been lifted from me. I don’t procrastinate like before. I wake up and I can literally hear what God wants me to do that day. I have the desire to do whatever it is He wants me to do. All the things that were distracting me are gone. Something that has really enhanced my life that I thought low of before is my new cell phone. I looked down on people who were always on their phone. I know most people probably are wasting time on it but God has shown me some great apps that have enhanced my relationship with Him. This is helping me grow in my relationship, I’m believing more and more of who I am in Christ and what I mean to God. I feel His love stronger every day. In the past I had “moments” of receiving His love but lately I am feeling a closeness to Jesus that I have never felt before. God uses whatever he can to reach us. We just have to want Him too. I trust God with my life and welcome anything that he wants to do with me, through me and for me.


Abide In Jesus

This is something  I found in a comment on You Tube and it’s so good I wanted to share and hope that it benefits someone like it has me.
They are depicting the times we live in and are pointing (hopefully to relationship with Christ and not just saying a prayer to go to heaven and to escape what’s coming just based on what I’ve seen in this clip) to Christ. It’s coming and to keep the peace Christ gave us when He came to live in us is to abide in His love for you. Abide (Greek: meno): to remain, to continue in His love. It’s easy to fall into the theological sense that “Jesus loves me, this I know.” But it’s very different when you take time (abide) and receive His love for you daily. When you just simply thank Him for His love for you and for the cross, fear starts to get pushed out by the perfect love that you are receiving. That’s why the literal version of the scripture “be ye filled with the Holy Spirit” is actually translated from “be being filled” meaning, you are already full, but keep filling up because thats when you overflow with what’s in your cup for you and for the people around you. And in the place of being filled, your perspective changes cause you are renewing your mind like the Bible says with what God says about you and all the sudden you are being transformed, not by your own efforts, but by the mighty hands of Gods grace. All because you are agreeing with Him now and not your flesh and the world. And then you start living different towards the people you particularly didn’t like before and are all the sudden finding mercy for them that you didn’t have before because you’ve taken that time to “abide” in His love for you. He is full of love and wants to fill you with that same love of His. He doesn’t want us going into this as scared Christians pretending to be brave by bearing arms. He wants us laying down our lives now so that when this does come, we won’t fear death because we’ve already died to this life anyways and have come to the confident hope of what’s beyond, which is glory forever with Christ. Don’t let the devil deceive you with fear. If you are scared, you have to take the time to realize His love for you on your own, when nobody else is watching, just you and Him. You can’t keep listening to other people tell you that He loves you. His voice has to become real for yourself before you’ll be any benefit to the kingdom of God and others and that comes by reading the word and meditating on it. Take time to just soak in Gods magnificent love. It’s taking the plank out of your own eye first so you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers. In Jesus name.


There is Hope in God

Hope is described as an expectation, a desire for fulfillment. Our hope should only be in God because God is the only one who can fulfill our desires and meet our expectations. Nothing can compare to being with God and with God all things are possible. When our hope is really in God and not in ourselves or others we are never disappointed. As I read further in Colossians it says that to have sensual appetites, unholy desires, greed and covetousness is idolatry. If we get more pleasure from these things instead of God, He considers this sin and its living in opposition to His will. We should be looking to renew our minds to His will, have hope in Him, the Creator, and He will take care of everything as we live out our salvation. God is faithful  to help us be the way He created us to be. The Holy Spirit will work inside of us.


The Adventure Is Not Here

The adventure we seek doesn’t exist in this realm in which we dwell. We keep seeking and searching for something that we can’t describe. We will never find it here and nothing on this earth is going to satisfy us. I recently saw a special about Elvis Presley and it said that he was a searcher. The people close to him said he was always searching for something and even questioned if he was doing God’s will. I find that very fascinating that someone that is so called successful as him was still not satisfied.

Back in December I was in a darkness and God showed me the way out and told me to sit in silence and listen to Him speak. When I heard Him tell me to go back to my old church I jumped on the band wagon and overloaded myself once again. I always think that following God is in my doing. I become legalistic. I thank God for realizing this and being able to stop it. I think that my “adventure” with Him is about going places, meeting people, engaging with them, doing things, seeing things. But I have just learned that the adventure we seek and long for isn’t in this realm. The adventure with God is a faith adventure. It can lead you to new places and people but the adventure is in believing Him, praying and talking to Him, listening to Him.

When I got off track once again this past 2 weeks, God once again spoke to me in three different ways to be still. When I overload myself I begin to feel numb. I had a comment recently on my blog that went to spam but something in it resonated with me. It was talking about denying self and what that really means in Greek. It means canceling self out. He said Satan wants us to deprive ourselves until it hurts.  Which that isn’t what it means at all. He says,  If you do this you are causing much more self awareness, and that is not canceling self out. Satan is good at twisting God’s Word to seem like it is binding you but in reality God’s Word sets us free. It’s Satan who wants to bind us and he will go to any lengths to do it to us, especially Christians. He doesn’t want us to live free, he is always trying to bind us up again. It’s up to us to stay in God’s Word to combat Satan in his tricks and lies.

I saw a sermon about love and relationships last week. What caught my attention was that by Jesus dying on the cross He showed us that we are worthy and valuable to Him. When we can receive this truth in our heart we can then love other people this same way. We need to focus on God’s love for us as we were sinners and we will be able to love the ones who are hard to love. I recently heard Peter Furler say that it doesn’t matter what we do or what we are doing , what matters is relationships.

Last Saturday I went to a Newsboys concert which was the best concert I have ever been to. But the lead singer of Zealand, Phil Joel, was who really made an impact on me. He projected Jesus out of himself in way that touched me so much that it brought tears to my eyes. I want that. I want to be able to let Jesus flow out of me the way Phil did. It was like Jesus was there.

This faith adventure begins with being still in God’s presence and listening to Him. Writing what He tells you. Then acting on it. The adventure lies inside of yourself. When you master being able to hear the Holy Spirit then He will lead you into other places and meeting other people or whatever God’s will is for you. I just read in an allegory about judgement that God’s will is that no one perishes. We are to live in fellowship with God and be available to accomplish the greater goal of bringing people to repentance. If you are living in fellowship with God, you are living in His will. By prayer we fellowship and unhindered prayer, confessing sin, is the key. Then believing and  thanking are what precedes the miracle as Ann Voskamp says. The miracle is, is we get to meet with our Creator, the one true living God of this universe.

What I’m focusing on right now is being still in His presence and reading the Bible daily and writing what He tells me. I have a little problem with getting excited and going on tangents but eventually I get worn down and then it leads to depression and then God has to come rescue me once again. I need to just be still for now, enjoy my faith adventure with just God and myself right now. I want to cultivate my relationship with Him so I will be the strong tree, Psalm 1:3,  They are strong, like a tree planted by a river. The tree produces fruit in season, and its leaves don’t die. Everything they do will succeed. Let my roots grow down into Him. Phil Joel has a song about it that I love. This isn’t the whole song but I love what he says in the song here.

The Lent That Sticks

This is a repost from last year that I wanted to share again.

Ever since I got saved in August 2010, I have done something to acknowledge the Lent season. I was raised Catholic but that doesn’t have anything to do with it. When I got saved for real, you know when this happens, I had a strong desire to follow Jesus and His teachings. Practicing Lent is not a teaching, it’s something that certain denominational churches have come up with. It’s about observing the 40 days before Easter, representing the 40 days Jesus spent in the desert.

I feel that most people are turned off to observing Lent because they think it’s for the church. I have to say that I am turned off to denominational churches, they are the Pharisees of our day. I am learning more and more about Jesus and how the church of His day hated Him. I know most people don’t know this but it was the church who crucified Jesus. Now I know it was the plan of God but Jesus confronted them on many occasions about how they followed rules but they didn’t know God.

This is what is happening today. People are in church doing church things and they think they have to observe Lent. I choose to observe Lent because of my obedient heart towards God. If you are just going through the motions with an empty heart you are wasting your time and energy. God knows. He sees your heart. That is all He sees for that matter. The things you do or don’t do, doesn’t matter to Him, it’s the state of your heart that counts.

My husband teases me about my Lent devotion. He will say there is Lent all over the table or something funny like that. Today he made another comment like that and something was said to me in my spirit. Whatever it is your doing for Lent season keep doing it. Lent sticks to stuff right? Well, how about letting this Lent stick to your heart and soul? The only Lent that sticks is one done out of love. We love because He first loved us. Out of love we want to please God. Don’t do anything out of obligation, God doesn’t see it or feel it. He wants our love, fellowship, relationship.

I have been reading lately about soaking in His presence and intimacy with God. I found out that I do these things without realizing it just by following the Holy Spirit. I learned from Kim Walker Smith that stopping and talking to God, asking Him questions, this is intimacy with Him. Waiting for His answer, soaking in His presence. The problem we have is we are so rushed all the time and we forget. I have written about this before that forgetting God is the real sin. We have to fight to keep an awareness of His presence. This is what I am aiming for now, to stop and ask the Holy Spirit for direction, what choice to choose, what to say. I want Him in my every moment. This is the Lent that sticks. The Holy Spirit is stuck to you, inside of you, if your a believer, welcome Him, talk to Him, commune with Him. This is what He is waiting for. I read the other day that God is waiting for you to wait on Him! I loved that!

Jesus just wants us. Our belief, faith, love, trust. Following church rules doesn’t bring you closer to Him. Loving Him does.

Awake And Free

I saw a clip yesterday of Steven Furtick talking about the Sabbath. He was talking about the Sabbath being a gift from God. That when God rested it wasn’t because he was tired it was because He was finished. He gave us the Sabbath to rest as a gift. He goes on to say that man made it complicated with additional rules and specifics of what you couldn’t do on that day and made it a duty instead of a gift. I saw a comment that someone said that it’s still one of the 10 commandments. Like it’s something we are suppose to do. I had some thoughts come to mind after reading that.

First of all recently Jesus revealed to me what freedom really means. What it means to be free in Him. When we are born physically we are born in the sin state and we are slaves to sin. That is we don’t know any different than to sin. When we are made alive in Jesus we then have the freedom to choose. We are awake to our true nature and also awake to our new nature in Him. We are free from the bondage of sin and we can freely choose right choices. We want to obey out of love. Yesterday about the Sabbath, I heard God say to me, the 10 commandments are not there to condemn you or make you do something or not do something. They are put there to show you the way of life. God has given us the standards to live by that will give us a good life. Who doesn’t want a good life? Taking rest on the Sabbath is to benefit us, not God. After working all week we need a day to rest. It’s simply our choice. He gave us free will to choose and if we want a good life we will choose God’s way. If people would stop viewing God as a taskmaster and see Him how he really is, a loving Father, they would fall in love with Him. Man has twisted God’s message so much that people think the way of life is in this world’s ways and it’s not. That’s the lie Satan wants us to believe. Just like in the Garden of Eden when he said to Eve, did God really say that? He puts doubt in our minds and then we become lost. Always replace doubt in your mind with truth so he can’t get a foothold in your thinking. The Sabbath is a gift to us from God as are all the commandments. They are gifts that God has shared with us because He knows the world’s ways and that they lead to death. He has given us boundaries to keep us alive and to have a peaceful life.

There is something else that’s been on my heart and it’s about nonbelievers. I have read some devotions lately about being born again and how it is an act of the Holy Spirit. We are blinded by Satan until God’s power comes over us and we are saved. When we are saved we become awake. Those who aren’t saved are asleep. I have been frustrated about people in my family who don’t believe but I realize it isn’t their fault exactly. They are asleep and they believe this world because it’s all they know. As a believer you can never go back to being asleep, I know I’ve tried. So, we know what’s going on in this world and we know who to listen to to make it through. All we can do is pray for those who don’t know the truth and one day God’s power will come over them like it did us and then they will be awake too. I remember after I was saved I asked my mom why she didn’t tell me and she told me because you wouldn’t have believed me, you had to experience it for yourself.

We were created to have a relationship with God. That is all he wants, nothing else. I heard a great song today that kinda fits with this. I love it!

Stay In The Light

In my study the writer is referring that Jesus talked at the Sermon on the Mount about giving, praying and fasting. He didn’t say “if” we do it but “when” we do it. When we give, when we pray, when we fast. He believes fasting is not an elective but part of the core teaching. This is something I know everyone has their own opinion on so I’m still saying what I’ve said before. Fasting is a personal decision. Jesus also said not to flaunt your giving, praying and fasting like the hypocrites do. It all should be done in secret. If we just listen to the Holy Spirit specifically for our own life and carry out what we hear I think God will be pleased. I just read something on Bible Gateway about living in the light. I think this applies here. We are to be living in the light which is following Jesus and listening to the Holy Spirit. When we disobey or quench the Spirit then it’s rebellion against God and He isn’t pleased. We shouldn’t get into comparing ourselves or our walk with what other people are doing. The writer mentions purpose comes first before fasting. I agree that there should be a purpose for fasting and if there is a specific purpose and you are being led because of it, then do it.

Lent to Repent

Scripture reading for today is Psalm 118:1-9 and it’s dealing with fear. It’s saying not to fear because we know God is good and God is with us. No man can hurt us when God is for us.

Ann says: Today I will hold onto 4 words: God. Is. With. Us. Fast from fear because all fear is fraud.


My study with Ann today is something I needed TODAY! I had an extreme nightmare last night and woke up very afraid. I don’t know how I dreamt something so scary and evil. All I know is, is I was reminded of how evil really is. I refused to let it in my mind. I immediately prayed when I woke up and asked God to reveal to me what I could have done to crack the door that let evil in. I cast evil and fear out in Jesus’ name.


God Is Looking For Worshipers Not Performers

There are 2 interpretations of fasting in today’s reading. I like the second one which was written by Ole Hallesby ( 1879-1961) because I think he more closely explains what it really means. The other one by Donald Whitney comes from more of a now-a-days interpretation, I know this because it says (USA Contemporary) beside his name. Could it be possible that our interpretation of fasting could be all wrong? Considering what it says in Isaiah 58:1-14 the church and people have made it into something about themselves. In the Mosaic Bible before chapter 58, it is titled: True and False Worship. I learned worship is how your heart is toward God. Worship is a state of being, not singing. Praise and song come from worship. So to be a true worshiper my heart has to be pure and sincere toward God. In this scripture God is talking about their fasting, which is what we see today as false worship. Here is Isaiah 58:1-14, NLT version from Bible Gateway,

True and False Worship

58 “Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast.
    Shout aloud! Don’t be timid.
Tell my people Israel[a] of their sins!
    Yet they act so pious!
They come to the Temple every day
    and seem delighted to learn all about me.
They act like a righteous nation
    that would never abandon the laws of its God.
They ask me to take action on their behalf,
    pretending they want to be near me.
‘We have fasted before you!’ they say.
    ‘Why aren’t you impressed?
We have been very hard on ourselves,
    and you don’t even notice it!’

“I will tell you why!” I respond.
    “It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves.
Even while you fast,
    you keep oppressing your workers.
What good is fasting
    when you keep on fighting and quarreling?
This kind of fasting
    will never get you anywhere with me.
You humble yourselves
    by going through the motions of penance,
bowing your heads
    like reeds bending in the wind.
You dress in burlap
    and cover yourselves with ashes.
Is this what you call fasting?
    Do you really think this will please the Lord?

“No, this is the kind of fasting I want:
Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
    lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
    and remove the chains that bind people.
Share your food with the hungry,
    and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
    and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

“Then your salvation will come like the dawn,
    and your wounds will quickly heal.
Your godliness will lead you forward,
    and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.
Then when you call, the Lord will answer.
    ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.

“Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.
    Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!
10 Feed the hungry,
    and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
    and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.
11 The Lord will guide you continually,
    giving you water when you are dry
    and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like an ever-flowing spring.
12 Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities.
    Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls
    and a restorer of homes.

13 “Keep the Sabbath day holy.
    Don’t pursue your own interests on that day,
but enjoy the Sabbath
    and speak of it with delight as the Lord’s holy day.
Honor the Sabbath in everything you do on that day,
    and don’t follow your own desires or talk idly.
14 Then the Lord will be your delight.
    I will give you great honor
and satisfy you with the inheritance I promised to your ancestor Jacob.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!”

 We should take great notice of what God considers fasting.
Lent to Repent
 Scripture reading today is Romans 5:1-11 and it’s talking about how we are made right with God through believing and having faith in Jesus Christ. By His blood we are redeemed and we are now made friends with God.
Ann says: “Today I will feel the weightlessness of Your Grace. I will fast from carrying my regrets instead of carrying Your Cross.”
Carrying our cross is dying to self everyday. Forget about the past, it’s gone, when you look back you die in this moment. God is now. Life is now. We are forgiven of our sins if our faith is in Jesus, so we live by grace. So I take regret of sins past off and put on grace now and grace future. I will choose to live in His Grace, His Gifts because that is where the life with Jesus is. Veer off into regret and leave Jesus and the path. He never leaves us, we leave Him. Today I choose to stay on the path with Jesus and be showered in Grace.