Christian Imposter

Lately this is what I have felt like.  I had a day that I was tired and evil made me think thoughts and do things I wouldn’t normally do. But God over night turned me back around and saved me once again. The problem with sin is regret, unforgiveness toward yourself and feeling distant from God. I had to work through all these things recently and I have been able to move forward, forgive myself and feel God’s forgiveness and presence. What I have learned is, is no matter how good you think you are, you still aren’t good enough and you need Jesus more than anything else. I have learned to see myself through God’s eyes and He sees me innocent as a child. Nothing I do surprises Him and He already made my way of escape as the Bible says and it’s Jesus. Jesus paid the price for my sins.

I was drawn to watch Miracle On 34th Street. I watched the old one but God lead me through my mom and sister to watch the new one. This movie opened my eyes to something. Because of my recent let down about myself I haven’t felt Christmas this year until this movie. There were men dressed like Santa drinking in a bar. What I saw in my heart was people, including myself, dressed like christians but really not. We say we are christian but we really don’t express what is inside of us, what a follower of Jesus is. I know I am saved but I find it hard to express it and live it out. In the movie Kris Kringle says He is the human representation, the proof that we really can be what Jesus is and deny our human evil tendencies. He said we have to have faith. That is something I have been learning also that a life without faith is dead. Kris said a life without faith is doomed with doubt. If we don’t allow God to be present in our lives we won’t see Him work and then we begin to doubt. I saw a youtube video called Doubt your doubts, it helped me along the path I’m on right now of allowing God to be present.

When I was saved I resented Santa Claus. I was made to think he was evil because he was taking Jesus’ place but I have a different perspective now after seeing this movie and reading about the real St. Nick.  Santa represents the goodness, love, compassion, givingness of God. Santa may be the closest thing to God some people see. I used to get mad when people would say Santa was real but now I see that in Santa is Jesus. The real St. Nick was inspired by Jesus. He wanted to be like Jesus. I believe in the spirit of Santa because it’s the Holy Spirit in disguise. If we can believe in ourselves that we truly are a follower of Jesus then we will show the world around us there is a God. When we show characteristics of God, even through Santa, people begin to believe.

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