I Choose You, I Choose Us

This is a line from the movie Family Man. It stuck out to me and it is something I say everyday now to Jesus. I am learning in my Bible Study that to walk in the light everyday we have to choose to. Walking in the light means choosing Jesus and the example He gave on how to live. Darkness is immorality, anger, lust of any kind.

I read yesterday on Pinterest that whatever we are spending our time doing from day to day is what we are worshiping and that is our idol. I have thought a lot about that. It matters what we give our time to. Then on a movie yesterday the narrator said that most days of a person go unnoticed to never be remembered again. That was sad to me.

In the last 3 weeks I have had a wake up call. Thank God nothing bad had to happen for me to wake up. But something amazing has come over me and all I can think of is that it’s God’s power. I have prayed it doesn’t go away because it has been  the  most fulfilling 3 weeks! Jesus doesn’t ask us to spend a dull lifeless life with Him, like people who aren’t doing it believe. He says He will give us life to the full and I’m here to witness to the fact that when you really hand your life over to Him it is full!

It has been over the course of 4 years that God has been revealing things to me. They have come to a head now, this morning it has come to me what a full life in Jesus means.  When I embarked on the 1000 gifts challenge with Ann Voskamp I stopped. But for February I am doing the challenge again and I want to keep going for the rest of the year. Being thankful is the first thing we should be doing. I look at what she says to be thankful for in the morning and I spend my day like a treasure hunt looking for those gifts but I also am being mindful to thank God for other things as well. Then God’s dunamis power has been brought up from my church and from Rick Renner. Dunamis is Greek for dynamite. I learned that we need to ask for this type of power so that the armor of God appears. Without His power the armor doesn’t come. The thing that keeps your armor on is the belt of truth, which is the Bible and now I’m learning prayer is another one. I got a book called Fervent and it is so awesome! Prayer has been on my mind since May 2017 when I had a dream about it. God has been trying to show me all this time how important prayer is. I know we can tend to think of it as boring but this book I got has stirred up a fire in me and it helps you to write strategic prayers. The other point God has been making with me is love. This has been over the course of about 2 years. It has been summed up for me in this study I’m doing about how to love people. To love people we have to honor and respect them. Encourage and build them up. Never judge or criticize.  All of what I’m saying is not appealing to our natural mind but that’s just it, these are spiritual things that only our spirit understands but I’m telling you that if you do these things your life will change. Mine started 3 weeks ago and I’m still there, thank God!

Choosing to be thankful, praising God, doing Bible Art, doing Bible studies, praying, walking in the light with armor, going to church, memorizing scripture, loving people the way the Bible says, this is what the full life with Jesus is. You won’t have time to be idolizing anything, you will be worshiping the One True Living God, what we were created to do in the first place. I pray you choose to join me!

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In Awe of God

A little over a week ago, I encountered God’s presence and power in an unexpected way! If you have read my previous posts you may know I was in a depression, darkness. Even though I was in that place I still tried to pursue God, I struggled to keep myself reading and praising God. I was searching for something, for Him, I felt empty and couldn’t fill myself up.

My son has started talking about joining the marines. As my husband and I have been having talks with him I realized something about myself! I figured out that I wasn’t missing anything in my physical life. I knew the moment I was saved that God would use me but I have never felt like He has used me. It has made me feel useless and like a nothing. I was saved 7 years ago, that’s a long time to feel like you haven’t progressed in the kingdom. I used to be a member of a church I loved and I helped clean. I quit 4 years ago because of different reasons that I really don’t even remember now. I have had moments of wanting to go back but my husband didn’t want to so I would be back where I started. I just continued doing church at home and doing things online.

Well, my son asked me to watch boot camp videos. I didn’t want to but I did it anyway for him. As I watched these videos my spiritual eyes were opened. I correlated the marines to Christianity. I suddenly realized I needed to be back at church! That was my answer! I admired my son’s love of the marines and because of that he wanted to join. I knew that because of my love and passion for Jesus that I needed to be with other believers. I need them and they need me!

That night I had a dream of being back at my church. When I woke up I knew God’s will for me is to go back but I also knew my husband wouldn’t want to go. Well, I brought it up anyway and told him about my dream with tears in my eyes. He told me if that’s what I really want then he would go with me, for me. I was so excited! I called my friend from church that I cleaned with and told her everything. Come to find out she had not been cleaning for some time and said she had been procrastinating about going back. I immediately felt God and knew He was in this.

When I was driving the car that day my song on my mp3 player came on In Awe Of You. I bawled my head off in the car. I have been delivered from darkness into His marvelous light! He has made all things new! I see a bright future ahead for 2018 in my church! I will be rededicating my life to the church in March and I can’t wait! I look forward to living my days now with anticipation of what God has in store! No more fear!

I’m also doing a Bible study on Revelation and another one online with Proverbs 31. I am fulfilled experiencing God’s presence and power in my life and there is nothing else like it! Nothing can take the place of God! Nothing!

 

More On Silence

Unbelievably I read all of Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist and the main theme of the book is silence. After all the signs from God pointing me to silence this book gave me peace. There were so many unbelievable quotes that I have saved and so many similarities to my own life that was really hard to fathom. The one difference though is Shauna was a workaholic and overspent herself. The life she longed for and has now is the life I already have. She made me realize that I already have what matters the most. My family. She mentioned her brother telling her how brave she is to be married and to be raising a family.  This was significant to me because I had a dream where I said my life was boring. The title of her chapter was When Brave Looks Boring. Her brother is single and does a lot of adventurous things that make him look brave but he was telling her that the life she chose was displaying bravery. I liked that because of the dream I had and the way it made me feel. I feel brave now! I feel content. I see from the book how important being in silence is. This is really where God can speak to you and you can actually hear Him. I tried it and it brought tears to my eyes to feel His raw presence with me, just God and me. To hear Him speak to the depths of my soul was not only satisfying but filling also. I wanted to share some meaningful quotes from her book and they might inspire you to read it also. Present Over Perfect quotes:

Present is choosing to believe that your own life is worth investing deeply in, instead of waiting for some rare miracle or fairy tale.

Present means we understand that the here and now is sacred, sacramental threaded through with divinity even in it’s plainness, Especially in it’s plainness.

The only way through the emptiness is stillness.

Be very careful that you are not giving yourself to a pale imitation of life with Christ- life about Christ or life generally near to Christ.

These are only a few of my favorite quotes, there really were so many. Very valuable book.

Something she talked about was asking yourself what you are giving yourself to. I liked how she put that. The scripture that we are bought with a price and we are living sacrifices to God was what she was referring to. The way I understand it is, if I think of living, my body and soul a living sacrifice to Jesus, and thinking of it as giving myself to whatever,  then it really has a different meaning to me as to what I’m doing. Think of everything you do as giving yourself to whatever it is. If we are valuable to Jesus, which we are, then it becomes a living sacrifice. We shouldn’t want to give ourselves to just anything. I’m valuable to Him and I should give myself in value to others.

I was watching T.D. Jakes the other day and he said some interesting things as well. He said success doesn’t feel like success, a good marriage doesn’t feel like a good marriage, a good job doesn’t feel like a good job. Because we see the problems in it. But he quoted Jesus telling the disciples, “The harvest is white.” He said Jesus wouldn’t have had to state the obvious so why did he say it. Because their perception was off. Sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I loved that because Satan fogs our perception so much sometimes that we lose our way. He gives us lies in our thoughts and we begin to believe them instead of the truth.

It’s up to us to make time in the silence to connect with God, thank Him for all He has done, is doing, and will do and to hear His voice in steering our lives in the right direction. This is the only way to fill our days with meaning and to not waste the time we have here.

Being is more valuable to God than doing. Everything comes from just being.

I Pray Your Faith Doesn’t Fail

Jesus said this to Peter, “but I have prayed [especially] for you [Peter], that your faith [and confidence in Me] may not fail; and you, once you have turned back again [to Me], strengthen and support your brothers [in the faith].” Jesus knew Peter would deny Him when He went to the cross but He prayed that Peter would return and strengthen his brothers to keep moving forward in the faith.

I had written previously about my Bible Study on Faith and how I got sick and couldn’t complete the little books I was making. I had said then that I didn’t understand why that was happening to me. I have since figured it out. It came to me in a song from Elevation Church, my flesh failed. It wasn’t my faith in God to help me complete it that failed, it was my flesh. The name of the song is Give Me Faith. I also stumbled across something on You Tube about following your flesh that helped me. I had felt so bad, like a failure for not finishing the books but now I see that I was working against a force beyond my control. If I knew then what I know now, that Satan is a flesh devil and this is the only way he can tempt us, then maybe with my faith in practice I could have been strong in Jesus and defeated him.

I have had a sort of wilderness experience this past couple of weeks. During this time I felt sad and distant from God. I have felt like I have lost Him. But I learned that Satan is spiritually dead and can only come at me through my flesh. With God’s Word I can defeat him like Jesus did. This is why it’s so important to know God’s Word. We really don’t know when we are going to need it. When you are in a place of distance it’s hard to get back. You know what you need to do to get there but you can’t make yourself do it. It’s like Satan has a grip on you. If you are ever in this situation I recommend asking other believers for prayer. I asked my sister. Night before last my husband told me the next morning I was having a nightmare and woke me up and all I said was ‘thank you’. I don’t remember any of it, all I can guess is I was fighting demons because I feel so much better now. I also had a dream before that where I said that I’m bored with my life and my days aren’t fulfilling. This is Satan again trying to bring me down. Boredom is evil. God showed me a book that looks interesting called Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist . It’s about slowing down and stopping yourself from the pride of trying to be perfect. It’s about having a soulful relationship with God, meaningful. I’m going to give it a try.

I listened to Jim Caviezel  the other day and he said every time we sin we are denying Jesus. He is the guy who played Jesus in the Passion Of The Christ. I thought how right he is but Jesus knows ahead of time that we will do this and He loves us anyway. That’s the Good News that Jesus died WHILE we were and are still sinners. That’s the beauty of His love! We only have to have faith in Him. Faith that He is who He says He is and He is our way to heaven. If our faith doesn’t fail Satan can’t touch us. As it says in Hebrews 2:14, 14 Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil. Jesus broke the power of Satan over us, we have to choose life! God has given us authority over our own choices, it’s up to us to kick the devil out!

Psalm 6

I am continuing on with praying the Psalms and I’m now on Psalm 6. It has been awhile since my last one but when I write I don’t force myself, I wait on the Lord to direct me. So, it may have been awhile since my last one but it’s not because I have abandoned my idea. I always try to write what I hear God saying to me.

Psalm 6 is dealing with trouble. Trouble that may be caused by people, evil in spiritual realms and the kind of trouble that you ensue on yourself through thoughts you may have that aren’t life giving. David goes through a process of recognizing his troubles and figuring out the answers to these troubles. I want to go through them as they present themselves from verse 1.

In verse 1 David is asking God to not discipline him in anger. David must be experiencing some kind of difficulty and knows that some trials are brought on by God for discipline. God disciplines His children because He loves them. Discipline isn’t punishment but a time for learning. This learning brings about the character of Jesus in us. We should follow God’s teaching and accept whatever discipline we are experiencing.  In verse 2 David is recognizing his weakness and his need for God. When we go through trouble or trials we want immediate comfort and consolation. We recognize we are weak and we need God. Sometimes this is what God wants, for us to see we need Him. Even in favorable times we should know and recognize our need for God. Verse 3 is about God being silent. David not only has trouble in his circumstances but he doesn’t have peace inside either. Having trouble can make us feel distant from God but He knows everything and sometimes He is silent to test our faith. These are the most important times to trust God and believe. We should embrace the silent moments to prove our faith. God says that we can not please Him without faith. In verse 4, David is pleading for relief. He wants to see God’s love and mercy in his situation. In hard times it’s easy not to see or to overlook the goodness of God. In these times is when we have to choose to experience God’s love and mercy. We have to look for it more intently. I read something the other day that said we need to make a list of what we are thankful for because as we make the list we become more aware of what we do have to be thankful for. This leads us into verse 5 which is about being thankful. We need to thank God for what He has done, is doing and will do. In other words thank Him always! Verse 6 addresses the trouble that we have within ourselves. Things like worry, fear, anger, sadness, anxiety. These are troublesome things that if they are focused on can bring great turmoil and there can’t be any peace. Instead of focusing on the negative feelings we are having we need to shift our focus to God’s presence. It’s another choice again. We have to choose right thoughts and choose to be in God’s presence. We do this through reminding ourselves that we aren’t alone. He has promised us that we are not on this journey alone. Believe it! Verse 7 tells us we can communicate with God whenever we need to or want to! We don’t have to feel hopeless when we have the Holy Spirit to commune with.  Verse 8 expresses confidence in God’s protection. I take “workers of iniquity” referring to people but I also see it in the spiritual realm . We should address them when we feel their attacks and remind them who is in control. When we pray prayers of trust and belief, God hears us and acts according to His purpose for our lives. When we feel attacked we should be praying for His protection. Verse 9 is also referring to having faith in God. By David saying that God has heard his prayer and receives it, shows he has faith and confidence in God. When we pray, God is on alert to answer us. We have to do our part in believing that He will do it. Lastly in verse 10, David knows he has to give his enemies to God. He is asking God to be on his side. We should always leave vengeance in God’s hands. He will take care of whoever is coming against us. When we are living in accordance to God’s ways, He works on our behalf because we are His.

Prayer: No one likes trouble, plain and simple but Jesus has told us that we will have trouble in this life so we have to face it head on with a plan in place. Jesus is the answer to our trouble. I thank you for Jesus. I thank you for discipline that makes me more like Jesus. Help me remember that I am not alone in my trouble and I can access Your presence by the Holy Spirit. Help me remember that no weapon formed against me shall prosper and no good thing is withheld from the upright. I am the upright because of my faith in Jesus. Thank you for showing me ways to deal with trouble, so the next time I am faced with it I can find peace in Your presence, Amen.

You CAN Take It With You

Recently I spoke about taking care of my mother-in-law in my home and also shared her passing. What I want to talk about today has to do with when she was staying with me. One night when we were talking about God and Jesus I realized how much of the Bible I really had inside of me. She asked questions that caused me to spew at the mouth about stories in the Bible. She told me she didn’t know the Bible like I did. I thought that was sad considering she was 86 years old. I thought about this because at the end of her life, about the last 2 years, she was blind in one eye and couldn’t see well out of the other and she couldn’t hear well either. I felt God telling me to read the Bible and learn what I can WHILE I can. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and not have His Word engraved on my heart, so I can turn to it when I need it, even if I can’t see or if I didn’t have a way of reading it. I have not forgotten this experience.

Now recently I began reading a book called How To Study The Bible by Dwight L. Moody. He is emphasizing as  Christians how much we need the Bible. We need to be reading it to be more effective in our lives. I have read several times the scripture Matthew 24:35, 35 Heaven and earth [as now known] will pass away, but My words will not pass away. God spoke to me about this in my sleep last night. He has revealed something, a message that I thought was awesome!

We know the Bible states that everything in this world will pass away and we have always heard the phrase, “You can’t take it with you”, right? Well, since God’s Word will never pass away that is the one thing that you CAN take with you! So all the studying and insight you get is not a waste when you pass on. Sometimes it feels like doing Bible study is useless but its the only investment in your life that’s going to literally last for eternity! Not only do you benefit from it in your life now but it’s going to benefit you in the future and for all eternity!

The Bible has answers to everything and is alive and changing. It’s the only book that changes every time you read it. Because every time you read it you are in different circumstances than before and you have more life experience, so you can never stop learning from it. The best news is that it’s not like learning in school, when you pass, that knowledge is gone. This Bible, God’s Word will live forever, go on forever , stand forever. I for one want to take it with me! It’s a precious thing and I was so happy when I realized it’s the one thing we take with us and it’s the one thing we can count on.

 

Pray The Psalms With Me, Psalm 5

Psalm 5 has a lot to do with prayer and how we should be walking with God. Like I have said before prayer is most effective in the morning before you start the day. This way you have the rest of the day to watch and wait to hear God’s voice. But before we pray we need to acknowledge God for who He is and give Him reverence and worship. Remember the only way we are able to enter into the house of God is through His Son, Jesus. Be thankful for His love and mercy. Our prayers should be passionate and never taken for granted that we can communicate with God. We need to ask for God to lead us and guide us into His righteousness and make the way of the path plain to see. We don’t receive unless we ask.

There are some guidelines we should follow that lead to being and living right. We shouldn’t boast or practice evil. Be trustworthy, truthful and not let any deceit come from our tongues. We should resist evil and not seek revenge. Live, speak and be the Truth! Continue to be in right standing with God and experience His favor and blessing. Remember our ways lead to destruction. We should be in high spirits singing and shouting for joy because we belong to God!

Prayer

Father, I come to You in reverence and in awe of who You are. I acknowledge that You exist and You are over all creation including me. I am thankful that through the blood of Jesus I can come into Your house and dwell with the Almighty! Show me your path of righteousness today and every day in every circumstance and choice that presents itself to me. I am overjoyed that I belong to You. I’m passionate about You and love You. Thank you for Your blessings and favor on my life. Help me continue to live right before Your eyes. I want to walk in Your ways, not my own because they lead me into destruction. Help me remember Your ways. Thank you for Your Holy Spirit living in me, leading and guiding me. I invite You to be my life. I am Your vessel, make Your glory shine through me in all I do, Amen.

 

Would You Like To Change?

Now that I have had some time to rest and get myself back together I have been on a real journey or should I say adventure. I have followed the Holy Spirit’s leading and I have been learning so much!

I joined a prayer group on face book which then led me to reading a book called Abiding in Christ by Andrew Murray. This book was written long ago which was so interesting to me how some one from the 1600’s could still minister to some one today. I highly recommend this book if you are ready to surrender your life to Jesus and want to experience real change in your life.  I learned that abiding in Christ is the only way the Holy Spirit can do His work. It’s not up to us to make ourselves change. We only have to surrender and He will do the work. I have been practicing this for a few weeks and I have been so happy with my progress!

It just so happened I watched a movie called Before I Fall. This girl has to relive her last day until she gets it right. Getting it right meant loving people as they are. Noticing every detail of what is around you. Savoring what is right in front of you. Telling people you love them and giving people what they need in that moment. If you were living your last day wouldn’t you want the people that you had contact with that day to remember you in a good way? We should treat everyone in the day as if it is the last time we see them. You never really know when your last day will be. I realized while watching the movie that if I’m abiding in Christ I will make these right choices. I loved it when she realized what she finally had to do to get it right. That morning she said for the first time she wasn’t afraid, she knew exactly what she had to do. She knew how to live this day well. We should all be getting up with this attitude. An attitude of excitement! An attitude of love. She says something in the movie while she is going through a lot of days over and over, she says no matter what I do it doesn’t change anything or what happens. But the last day when she gets it right, when she knows how to live the day, it does change. When we allow ourselves to be used by the Holy Spirit and we are walking in the Spirit then we are a catalyst for change. We change things to make them better. I want to live each day as if it’s my last and do good, walk in the Spirit, change things around me for the better and I will leave a mark of goodness.

I saw another movie yesterday called The Last Words. It’s about a lady wanting her obituary written before she dies. She finds out she wasn’t liked very much. She spends her last days changing herself because she wants her obituary to be true to how she lived in a good way. The girl who became her friend in the movie spoke at her funeral and she said  some stuff but she ended it with, all we really want is to not be forgotten.

I feel the same way. I want to live in communion with Jesus, make a lasting mark for Him and know I did my best. I also want God to change me. I want to be more like Jesus.

I have been meditating on that also. Jesus desires us to change after salvation. That is the essence of this article I guess. I want you to want to change. I want to change. Because when we do we win against evil! We have to choose the spirit life instead of the flesh life. The spirit life is the lasting life. It’s the only way to change and the only way to stay changed!

Pray The Psalms With Me, Psalm 4

This Psalm was written by David and has 8 verses. I believe it is about prayer, spending time with God and choices.

Prayer and choices have been very significant in my life lately. Following Jesus is not easy because it’s all about choosing Him. Our first choice in choosing Him is in our salvation moment. When Jesus is presented to us as Savior it is a choice to receive and believe Him. So, first I choose to believe Jesus is my sacrifice for my sin. I trust Him for this. I am then considered godly in God’s eyes because of my faith in Jesus. I have to choose to believe I am godly through my faith in Jesus. When I believe this I then will have faith that God hears and heeds my call. I will choose to spend quiet time with God to listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading and correction. This is the way to live a Spirit life and not the fleshly one. When I have thoughts in my head I will choose Truth over lies. Satan tries to get us to believe his lies over God’s Truth. We have to know and believe God’s Word and His promises over Satan’s lies. I will choose to give God the glory and honor and not seek my own. Vanity is evil, stay away from it. Choose to be searching for God’s goodness in my life and look for His shining face. Choose to make myself aware of God’s presence in my life and I will be joyful and rejoice over the abundance of goodness that He gives. I can rest and sleep in His peace when I really choose to trust Him with my life.

Prayer

Thank you for free will to choose. Help me stay aware of this fact so that I can always choose You. I only want a life that includes You and I only want the life that You have planned for me. Help me to live it out. Thank you for Your abundant goodness in my life and I value Your peace, I can’t live without it. You are my life! I will listen to You in quiet moments to be able to follow You. Amen.

Walking In The Light

I was put in an unexpected situation a little over a month ago. My mother in law was leaving rehab and my husband and I found ourselves having to be the ones to bring her into our home. He has other siblings but no one else would volunteer so since we follow the Lord, I felt God’s presence in this decision. I was happy to feel like I was doing something for God especially cause I knew I wanted to talk to her about Jesus. We said we would do this task for 10 days and then evaluate the situation from there.

We lasted 18 days taking care of her. Something I learned from her being in my house and having guests periodically was that I realized I was living in the light. The scripture came to mind, Live in the light as He is in the light. I explained to my husband that I wondered about that scripture in the past about what it really means to live in the light. I told him that it meant to me in that situation that I don’t have anything to hide.

I felt empowered by the Holy Spirit while she was here but during her stay I saw my husband slowly going down hill. When this happened I began losing it too. When I confronted his family and said we couldn’t do this anymore that my husband was dying we were laughed at and called names. I felt us drowning and they just pushed us deeper down. I had been praying for God to remove her because we couldn’t do it another day. In just a few days we had something happen with my son’s glass desk. It shattered! This happened when my mother in law was being brought back from an appointment. She wouldn’t allow my husband to see what happened. From all the stress that had already been building my husband lost it and called his brother to come get her. So her leaving was an abrupt occasion that we didn’t intend on happening.

When she left we were relieved but we got a lot of backlash from his family. We have been made to feel like hypocrites. They threw our walk with Jesus in our face. We have talked and we both have been feeling confused about the whole thing. We both have had to question our salvation and walk with Jesus. Through this past month I have lost my intimacy with God. I talked to my mom about it and explained that I know what I have to do to get back there but I can’t make myself do it. I thought getting back there was through writing, making my Bible Art Journals, reading the Bible, etc… But over the past couple days the Holy Spirit has revealed to me whats wrong.

It isn’t that we stopped taking care of her. I read in my Beth Moore book that if you pray for the cup to be removed and God does it then your in His will. If He doesn’t your in His will. I prayed for it to be removed and it was. Beth Moore emphasized that what is important is that we obey. I believe God gave us the grace for 10 days. I believe that was all we were meant to do. I couldn’t believe the ridicule we received for not being able to go longer. I dealt with feeling inadequate and not being Christ like. Although I gave her my all while she was here and loved her with God’s love, prayed with her and talked about her salvation and walking with Jesus.

So the distance I have been feeling is being caused by unforgiveness. I have been angry  at my brother in law for what he said to us and called us. I wouldn’t forgive him.

During her stay here I had found a book called The Daniel Prayer at Hobby Lobby and I bought it in hopes of helping myself pray for her. I read it some then quit. Well, prayer has been brought to my attention real big the past several months. Day before yesterday I was in my e mail and saw a message from Gateway but I was going to delete it but the Holy Spirit clicked it. It was something about a men’s Bible Study. I decided to click on it anyway. When I did, I looked in the margin and I saw the book I had bought The Daniel Prayer. It was offering a summer Bible Study with the book. I couldn’t believe it so I joined the face book group and began the study. Yesterday I was watching the videos and looking at the scripture they said to study. The scripture was The Lord’s Prayer. God showed me The Lord’s Prayer in a new light.

We address God for who He is, our Father and then we acknowledge He is holy. Then we agree with His will being done on earth as it is in heaven. I also agree with His will being done in my own life as well. When we pray “give us this day our daily bread”, we are asking for provision but also we are asking for a fresh word from Him for that day. Then when I got to the part about forgive me for my sins as I forgive those who sinned against me, I realized I had unforgiveness. I prayed and also told my husband that I’m not angry anymore and that I forgive his brother. I asked him if he was still angry. He said that he didn’t know. I explained to him that being in the state of unforgiveness blocks us from God’s blessings and we are only hurting ourselves. This is why we feel lost and we feel like God can’t hear us. I also said what it says in the Bible that we are forgiven by God and we don’t deserve it so we should forgive people even if they don’t deserve it. He told me he would pray. We both feel so much better now. I’m finding myself coming closer to God again.

My mom was telling me how she practices the presence of God the other day and I brought up Brother Lawrence to her and how I read his book Practicing The Presence. Yesterday I got an e mail from a woman whose blog I follow and she talked about this very thing and mentioned Brother Lawrence which I thought was so strange. I loved what she said. She said,” Seeing God is a choice. Brother Lawrence chose to see God in washing the dishes. Others just see dishes.” My mom told me you have to slow down and be aware of the choices your making because we are always making choices whether we know it or not. Make your self aware if your choosing God or not in everything you do. This keeps the enemy away. She told me all those feelings and thoughts I was having were from the enemy. So at the end of The Lord’s Prayer we are asking God to keep temptation away from us and protect us from evil. All we have to do is ask. We forget that a lot.

In this Bible Study Ann Graham Lotz said something so good. She said we should pray in the morning because the day hasn’t begun yet. She said you wouldn’t tune your violin after a symphony. So, tune yourself to God before the day. Be aware of His presence. Ask for Him to lead you, guide you. And also trust and believe.

This is what I have learned from the past month. I needed to share it and I hope maybe someone out there may need to hear it.